1.Identify the negative beliefs and thoughts causing low self-esteem
There’s always a little voice in your head that could either motivate or bring you down. If you have more of the latter, it needs to be addressed. Negative self-talk and thoughts are major contributors to low self-esteem. Therefore, it is vital to be more aware of the thoughts you encourage.
Once in a while, you may find yourself thinking negatively. However, being aware of these thoughts makes it easier to quickly identify this and influence positive thinking. A great way to address your negative beliefs is to simply ask yourself if these thoughts are really true. Sometimes, it is our interpretation of a fact that can cause a negative belief, whereas the fact itself is neutral.
You should also consider if these things you would want to hear from or if you’d say such things to a friend. If your answers to either or both questions are “no,” then you are dealing with a negative thought.
2.Accept your imperfections
Perfection is not a realistic attribute to obtain as a human being. The fact that you’re human means you will never be perfect! However, it is understandable to forget this due to what you may see going on in the space around you, such as the posts on social media or people exaggerating their success.
Your flaws don’t make you less competent or a terrible person. Your flaws make your life interesting as they encourage you to change for the better and make you different from others. Remembering that no one’s perfect, you can calmly embrace your shortcomings. This also prevents issues of self-doubt and selfish behaviour.
Remember that what is important is your progress and how you are getting better each day, so learn to value progress over perfectionism.
3.Don’t compare yourself to others
One surefire way to reduce your self-esteem is to compare yourself to others. Although you may look up to someone for motivation and encouragement, comparing yourself is harmful and has more adverse effects.
When you compare yourselves to others, you lose the ability to recognise and celebrate your achievements, increasing self-doubt in your abilities. It also ignites feelings of jealousy and hopelessness, leading to destructive behaviours and emotions. Everyone is different and unique and that is a great thing!
In some cases, you begin to look for the flaws in everyone else to make yourself feel better! Instead of looking at what others are doing, focusing on you and fulfilling your goals and aspirations is important— just do you!
4.Improve your appearance to help prevent low self-esteem
Your body image is not just limited to what you see in the mirror but also how you perceive yourself mentally. This can directly affect your self-esteem. This is because your appearance is a major confidence booster. Poor body image makes you uncomfortable and reduces your confidence– lowering your self-esteem.
Fortunately, you can change this by improving your appearance. For instance, if your weight gain or loss causes you to view your body in a negative light, you could consider exercising regularly or changing your diet to improve your look.
Or perhaps you have short hair and don’t know how to style it to make it look good. You can look for creative ways on how to style your short layered haircut to make you feel great and confident.
You can also consider changing your wardrobe for clothes that express your personality and style, as when you make the effort to look good you feel good.
However, it is important to make these changes in moderation and without the pressure of what others are doing or have forced you to believe you need to change. You should also remember to make these changes at your own pace and at your discretion.
5.Be kind to yourself
More often than not, you may not be the kindest person to yourself. One way you may be doing this is by negatively labelling yourself. Calling yourself “stupid”, “timid”, “disorganised” or “awkward”, even as a joke, can negatively impact your view of yourself and your self-esteem.
The truth is, over a period, you begin to believe these labels. This, in turn, causes adverse effects such as diminishing motivation and negatively affecting your mood. It also changes the perspective others have of you, as you encourage them to see you as those labels. You can change this by showing yourself more love and speaking positively about yourself.
Another way you are unkind to yourself is by beating yourself up over petty mistakes or past events. You may think doing this would help you become a better person, but this is often untrue. Beating yourself up only makes you doubt yourself more, belittles you, and adversely affects your mental health. Instead of holding on to your mistakes, learn the lessons and move on. Be kind to yourself by forgiving yourself and letting go of your mistakes and guilt.
6.Focus on what you can change
There may have been several times when you are frustrated by the things you can’t change. And sometimes, you don’t realise how this is draining your mental energy.
So much energy, time, and resources go into trying to make changes, but to no avail. The more you do this, the less competent you feel and the lower your self-esteem. This is why you should focus on what you can change. Doing this gives you the chance to control outcomes, and have victories you can enjoy.
However, when you face “unchangeable” situations, you need to better handle this roadblock and accept it instead of being frustrated by it.
7.Surround yourself with the right people
A factor of low self-esteem that is often overlooked is that of the people you have in your life. Unfortunately, not everyone you give access to you deserves it. The people you keep around you play a role in shaping and influencing your life– they can either uplift you or bring you down.
If you keep company with people who tear you down, influence negative thoughts, and cause self-doubt, you are doing yourself a great disservice.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, who motivate you, encourage positive thoughts, and make you feel better to be around.
Where possible, cut off people who ignite these negative effects on your self-esteem. If this is not possible, avoid or limit the time you spend with them and/or set up boundaries to ensure they do not gain access to you easily.
8.Be your number-one fan
Sometimes, all you need is for someone to believe in you and your abilities. However, you can also do that for yourself!
Being your own fan means providing yourself with the love, encouragement, and positive talk you need to make you feel more confident and believe in yourself more, and ensuring that “you have your own back”.
When you have success, no matter how big or small, congratulate yourself; encourage yourself to do more and be better. Recognise what you’re good at and encourage yourself to do more of and improve on it.
